Botanical Gardens (Singapore)

Sri Veeramakaliamamman Temple (Singapore)

No Shoes in the Temple!

Tiger Beer (Singapore)

Singapore’s national beer is Tiger. For a light beer, it is rather tasty. Unfortunately, beer costs a relative fortune at restaurants and pubs. That is to say, it runs $4-$9CAN for a pint. Completely reasonable, but once you become use to paying $4CAN for an entire meal it becomes difficult to spend that sort of money on a beer. On the plus side, you can purchase a 640mL bottle at the local grocery store for less than $3CAN. Suffice it to say, a few such bottles were consumed during our stay in Singapore.

A Beer at Clarke Quay

Pulau Ubin (Singapore)

Pulau Ubin is a small island off the Northeast coast of Singapore. It boasts neither the most stimulating nor interesting of Singapore’s fauna or flora. However, it does shelter Singapore’s last remaining villages and preserves, for the most part, a way of life typical of the 1950’s. Somehow I doubt the island supported a half dozen bike rental shops and a fleet of passenger bumboats before the eco-tourism movement took off.

For me this island is a small slice of paradise: few people, minimal technology, dense forests, and an ever present orchestra of birds, cicadas, and crashing waves. Of course, the boy (around 12) that rented us our bikes did ask for our mobile number and looked a little shocked when we told him we didn’t have one. Nevertheless, it was bliss to bike around the island’s trails, swim off its deserted beach, and meander through its “Secret Garden” full of spice plants and fruit trees.

Chinese Gardens (Singapore)

We visited the gardens on the last day of the Chinese Mid-Autumn Festival. To celebrate, the gardens played host to a dozen tacky lanterns of famous world sites (Eiffel Tower, Pyramids, Great Wall of China, etc.). It was astounding how many locals showed up for a glimpse of these lanterns. The crowd rivaled a hockey game in Canada! As you might have gathered, I didn't care much for the lanterns, but I did manage to snap a few interesting photos.

Japanese Gardens at the Chinese Gardens

The Stairs

The Hut

Miami Vice (Singapore)

Yes, I went to see this movie. Yes, it is lame to see a movie while travelling. But, you have to understand how priceless air conditioning is after walking around all day in the heat and humidity that is Singapore. The theatres must understand this as they have the AC blasting. I honestly wanted a sweater. Oh, the movie ain't half bad. Colin Farrell is hot as usual and sporting some seriously fun facial hair.

PS: Going to a movie is cheap (~$5CAN).

Coconut Juice (Singapore)

Drinking coconut juice straight from a coconut seems so right, but tastes so wrong.

Substation (Singapore)

Substation is a small “warehouse” that exhibits local Singaporean artists. The place gives the distinct feeling of leaning towards less mainstream art. That is to say, the floor is bare cement, the ceiling unfinished, and the walls a montage of peeling white paint. On display was a collection of paintings by Ian Woo. His work is interesting and thought provoking, but not entirely my “cup of tea”. Nevertheless, I must admit I adore his “Love you and it hurts me to take you there”. Although, more for the title than for the painting itself.


Painting by Ian Woo

Singapore Art Museum (Singapore)

The Singapore Art Museum was disappointing. On exhibit were works by the founding artists of Singaporean art. I found it rather pedestrian in style and content. Of course, you would all be a little foolish to heed my advice on art. My resume reads: Art 9, Plays with a Digital Camera, Mucks Around with Fractals. The exception was Tan Swie Hian. Her paintings captured a sense of childhood playfulness and magic (in particular, Night Kites and Humming Birds Racing).


Night Kites


Humming Birds Racing

MacRitchie Nature Reserve (Singapore)

This is easily my favourite locale in Singapore. We went during the week and it was nearly deserted except for the wide range of fauna that call the forest home. I could spend the entire day watching long-tailed macaques frolic in the trees. As Gwen put it, “the trees are alive with monkeys!” There is simply nothing like this place in Canada. It is magic.

As a sidenote, do not try and stare down a long-tailed macaque. It is a far worse idea than jumping into a pool at midnight while drunk.


Long-tailed Macaque at MacRitchie Nature Reserve


Hanging with the Macaques

Sentosa (Singapore)

I am a strong believer that people should not be prosecuted for the thoughts they have. As illustrated, consider the “free” Magical Sentosa at the Musical Fountain show that one can take in on Sentosa Island (Singapore’s island resort). It is free in the sense that it cost no money. However, it is expensive in the sense that it will damage your opinion of Singaporean entertainment indefinitely.

There are aspects of the show that are rather remarkable. The fountain display itself is gorgeous and contains a staggering array of jets that allow a wide range of water effects to be created. This is combined with a literal rainbow of underwater lighting. Most impressive, is the projection system which can render full colour images on a dense mist of water. From a technological viewpoint, the Musical Fountain must be amongst the best fountain shows in the world.

The problems begin with the show’s content. It is my honest opinion that the art director for this production should be sent off to a remote Pacific island where he (or she) will be unable to unleash such absolute crap upon the world again. The premise of the show revolves around our host being greeted by Kiki the Magical Monkey who invites him to visit “Magical Sentosa”. This might be fine except it turns out “Magical Sentosa” consists of a bunch of ordinary fish, a dancing robot (which I believe is Kiki’s brother), and a mute women with bad hair (that Kiki is clearly in lust with). All this is presented to the audience as an original song that is catchy for all the wrong reasons.

Although the problems begin with the content, they end with the host himself. All I could do to endure the host’s overzealous acting was to conceive of novel ways of killing this man. It is rather remarkable how creative a person can be in times of desperation. Gwen, being more rational than myself, simply left the show half way through.

Let me end on a positive note, as I do not want to give people the wrong impression of Sentosa. If one avoids the Musical Fountain, one would be hard pressed not to enjoy themselves. It hosts palm tree lined beaches, volleyball nets, basketball courts, excellent sand for throwing a disc around on, and the southernmost land accessible point of Southeast Asia (yes, this is precisely the type of list this blog is meant to avoid!). Gwen and I spent the better part of two days relaxing on these beaches and enjoyed every non-Musical Fountain moment of it.

Orchard Street (Singapore)

I consider myself an agnostic atheist. Unfortunately, this term has about as many meanings as Ben and Jerry's has ice cream flavours. The definition, as I intend it to be understood, is that an agnostic atheist is a person that does not believe in a "god(s)", but does accept (with some reluctance) that they cannot be certain that they are correct in this belief. This seems reasonable enough to me as I have found no reason in my life to believe in the presence of a "god(s)", but can certainly not put forth a proof asserting there is no "god(s)".

With that as an introduction, we can now define the five possible views a person may have of Orchard Street: heaven, hell, a source of free air conditioning, a source of extremely expensive air conditioning, or a street with a lot of malls. Let me explain. Orchard Street is heaven if you are a theist and live to shop (i.e., Kenneth). Hell if you are a theist and believe shopping is a sin. A source of free air conditioning if you are an atheist and dislike shopping. A source of expensive air conditioning if your are an atheist and shop uncontrollably. Just a street with a lot of malls if you are anyone else.

I enjoyed my free air conditioning.

Introduction

I kept a little travel diary while in Singapore. It is almost exclusively boring shit. Rephrased information you can find for yourself via Google. Does anyone really care that the Singapore Botanical Gardens has an excellent cactus garden, an extensive Bonsai tree collection, and an informative tour of plant life on earth? If you do, please refer to Google. The aim of this blog is to give a more personal, humorous, and sarcastic account of places than your typical Google hit will return. On that note, the real highlight of the Singapore Botanical Gardens is the washroom. It is a gardener's dream. I don't garden, but frankly it just feels damn good to relieve oneself overlooking an expansive garden featuring an orchestra of birds. Highly recommended.